Idiot
Brendan Rodgers is said to be ‘furious’ after the cat that he got to replace his dog in the summer insisted on acting like a cat.
The Liverpool manager had a great time last year with his dog, Luis, who would happily chase a ball around for up to an hour and a half at a time and run around all over the place. When Luis moved on to a new home Rodgers bizarrely decided to get a cat, called Mario, and attempt to train him to act like a dog. He has since been hugely disappointed by Mario’s tendency to laze around all day and occasionally lick his own arse.
“Luis was a great dog, he really was. I could happily watch him run around for hours on end, but he had this little problem where he did occasionally bite people. Another family came along and said they could give him a better home, so we reluctantly let him go.” explained Rodgers,
“This left a huge dog-shaped hole in my life, which I decided to fill with a cat. I was assured by his owners that he was a pedigree cat and when I asked if he would be a good replacement for Luis they said ‘sure, why not’ and then took my money. But any time I throw him a ball he just keeps it for himself and refuses to give it back to me, or to anybody else.”
“And if I throw it ever so slightly to the side of him he refuses to move for it, and then gives me a look of complete disdain, like he’s somehow better than me.”
Rodgers has only had Mario for a couple of months but is already rumoured to be considering having the arrogant little sod put down.
